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zwolanerd

I guess I just like liking things

Listen, I love Batman and you should, too.  But no matter how much you love Batman, you have to admit that 1997’s Batman & Robin was really, really bad. Like, so bad.  But, still, we want to love Batman, so what do we do?

Well, here at Zwolanerd, we’ve set out to look at pop culture positively. So today, starting in about 15 minutes, I’ll be watching Batman & Robin and liveblogging the good parts.  I’m home sick today, so why not?

Warning: this may be the shortest post ever.

See you back here at 11:30a ET!

———-

11:30. Here we go!

11:31. One minute in, and I’m already seeing how difficult it will be to stay positive.

11:32. “This is why Superman works alone.” This is the best line in the whole movie, and I’m not even kidding. I know the character of Robin was brought in to “lighten up” Batman, but I’m of the opinion that Batman works best on his own.

11:33. Michael Gough was a fantastic Alfred in all four movies from this series, regardless of what was going on around him.

11:38. NHL fans might want to give this movie a shot right now – might be the only hockey they get for a while.

11:41. I know his lines are terrible, but you really have to give Arnold some credit for saying his lines with such conviction.

11:42. I want to believe that the “Cowabunga!” Robin just shouted was a TMNT shout-out.

11:45. Uma shows up. It really had to be a nutso kind of fun to play a villain in this series, right?

11:48. Bane’s luchador mask looks about right, I guess?

11:50. John Glover is his own brand of crazy in a movie filled with excellent examples of the pinnacle of crazy.

11:52. Batman just did “The Clooney,” the “put your head down and then look up with your eyes” thing.

11:57. Mr. Freeze’s henchman are eating still-frozen frozen dinners. Trying to, at least. That’s attention to detail, folks!

12:00. Alicia Silverstone shows up. She always was a likable sort.

12:05. George Clooney certainly looks like Bruce Wayne ought to look.

12:11. You almost have to admire Joel Schumacher’s devotion to making Gotham and anything that happens in Gotham look like a Las Vegas show.

12:15. The Bat credit card. Good heavens, the Batcard. I so want to say something good about it. I just… Bear with me. I’ll find something.

12:23. If you don’t like one storyline in this movie, just be patient – another will be along in a moment.  Something for everyone!

12:25. Jesse “The Body” Ventura!  I had forgotten he was in this movie. It’s a Predator reunion!

12:32. Hey, we’re halfway through!

12:33. Okay, that really was Coolio I just saw. This movie has everyone!

12:39. Poison Ivy has a Mae West vocal thing going on here. Never noticed that before.

12:40. The storage locker at Arkham has both the Riddler’s and Two-Face’s outfits from the previous movie. One of my favorite things from that movie was Dr. Burton, an obvious spoof/homage of Tim Burton. Turns out he was played by Rene Auberjonois.

12:43. That was a very sweet scene between Bruce and Alfred just now.

12:46. I’m kind of in awe of this movie at this point. A background character literally just said the line, “My lungs are freezing!”

12:53. I’m pretty sure Rodney Dangerfield made that “Adam & Evil” joke 11 years before this.

12:58. It’s becoming more difficult to find good things. In lieu, here’s one of my favorite bits of trivia about the movie (from IMDB): “Hulk Hogan was Joel Schumacher’s third choice to play Mr. Freeze.” Can you even imagine?  That would have been awesome!

1:01. We love you, too, Alfred :(  Michael Gough once again comes through.

1:06. Alfred as Max Headroom is terrible and awesome at the same time. That counts as positive, right?

1:11. “Bruce, it’s me! Barbara!” That line just tickles me. World’s Greatest Detective, can you figure out the identity of the blonde woman in Batgear? Difficulty: she’s wearing an eye mask!

1:20. The explosions are nice.

1:24. I’ve always like Freeze as a villain – he’s a bit more dimensional than some. His desire to cure his wife is certainly understandable.

1:29. Alicia Silverstone’s lips sometimes remind me of Alyson Hannigan’s.

———-

Well, folks, that’s a wrap. That was… more difficult than I expected.  I leave you with this jewel from the IMDB trivia page:

“Due to the difficulty, and large amount of time, it took to remove the Batman suit, George Clooney reportedly urinated in his suit on at least one occasion. ”

 

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