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zwolanerd

I guess I just like liking things

No, this post isn’t filled with spoilers, it’s just about spoilers.

See, apparently I’ve spoiled a couple of things for people via Twitter this week and they got grumpy.  I didn’t really consider the things spoilers, so there were words and then I had to ask forgiveness. So I thought it would be good to review the Official Spoiler Rules so I didn’t mess up anymore. Here’s a video College Humor put together on the subject:

 

As stated in the video:

1. Spoilers cease being spoilers

  • two weeks after a standard episode
  • two months after a season finale
  • one year after a series finale

2. When recommending a TV program

  • general enthusiasm is permitted
  • spoiler enthusiasm is not

3. Spoilers spoken in pig latin, gibberish, or French will still be considered spoilers, but Mandarin is okay

4. In a group

  • if the up-to-date viewers are in the majority, they may ask the behind viewers to leave
  • if the groups are equal, they must Roshambo for dominance
  • if the two first rounds end in a tie, the groups must engage in a last-man-standing knife fight (I would mark this rule “OPTIONAL”)

5. During the 24 hours after a show airs, both up-to-date and behind viewers agree to be especially vigilant regarding spoilers

6. Any phrase starting with “Okay so this isn’t really a spoiler, but…” is automatically deemed a spoiler and the person uttering the phrase is not allowed to speak for 45 minutes

7. Viewers shall seek out information online at their own risk, and a “spoiler alert” is considerate, but should by no means be expected

8. If an up-to-date viewer spoils something for you, you may spoil something for them, but revenge spoilers shall be limited to the medium of the original spoiler

I’m not sure how much Twitter (my apparent method of spoiling) is covered under Rule 7 there, but it’s more of a conversation so it probably isn’t.

In the future I will do my best to abide by these rules, but I feel I should point you to this study, which says that spoilers can actually enhance our enjoyment of the story.

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