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I guess I just like liking things

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If you know me at all, you knew it was only a matter of time until we got to this list. I’ve never seen him wrestle outside of bits shown in interviews and in videogames, but the man can do movies, people.  It is my opinion that Mr. Johnson should be an even bigger star than he is, on par with what Stallone and Schwarzenegger were in their respective (and simultaneous) heydays: he can do all the action stuff they did, but is a better actor. He can do action, comedy, and drama, and he’s got more charisma in his eyebrow than some folks have in their whole family. On top of that, he genuinely seems like a nice guy and his Twitter account will either motivate you to work harder or make you feel like more of a lazybutt than you already do. (It’s usually the latter for me.)

I’m having a hard time describing this list, though. It isn’t really “best movies,” it’s more of a mix of “best characters,” “best movies,” and “characters most suited to the man.” His new movie Pain & Gain opens this weekend, so you’ve got time to brush up on your The Rock history before it gets here, and I’m suggesting this is the way to go about it.

10. Be Cool (2005) – I’m going to be flat-out honest with you: this movie isn’t very good. Get Shorty is a fantastic movie, but I don’t like to think about this movie trying to be a sequel to that one, and it makes me sad, because an actual more-like-Get-Shorty sequel to Get Shorty would be awesome. Anyway! This was really the first chance we got to see The Rock do comedy, and you could tell by watching it that he’d do all right.

9. Doom (2005) – I’m supposed to hate this movie because it ruins the story of the videogame and yada yada yada. I’m a much bigger fan of The Rock than I am of the videogame, and his no-nonsense, get-things-done military guy is the best part of the movie anyway. Keep an eye out for that character description, it shows up again later on in this list.

8. Walking Tall (2004) – I’ve never seen the original this movie is a remake of, and that’s probably supposed to make me feel bad, too. This is the exact sort of character you like to see The Rock play: tough, principled, and determined.

7. The Mummy Returns (2001)  / The Scorpion King – The first is where we got a glimpse of whether or not The Rock could do movies. The second was because people’s opinion was, “Oh, yeah, totally, even if the first movie wasn’t awesome he did a good job.”

6. Snitch (2013) – Kind of an action-drama, but The Rock plays an everyman, something you wouldn’t think a smaller version of the Hulk would be able to do, but I think he does a great job of it.

5. Get Smart (2008) – Comedy/Action, a genre he seems more suited for than just about anyone else.

4. Faster (2010) – his character’s name in this one is “Driver,” so I kept getting it confused with that Ryan Gosling movie. It is at its heart your basic revenge movie, and it just occurred to me that Driver and The Bride ought to meet up and form an A-Team-like group that rights wrongs.

3. The Rundown (2003) – I don’t know what your Seann William Scott tolerance levels are (mine are pretty low), but this action comedy works pretty well pairing him up with The Rock. Add in some Rosario Dawson and some Christopher Walken, and I’m not sure why anybody would have a problem with this movie.

2. G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) – This might be the most “The Rock-iest” movie he’s made so far. He’s military, tough, principled, determined, and funny. And he shares some screentime with Bruce Willis, enough to make you want a whole movie of just him and Bruce Willis doing stuff.

1. The Other Guys (2010) – Any time somebody takes a poke at their own image, I’m probably going to enjoy that. When that someone is The Rock, I’m going to enjoy that even more.  His scenes in this movie with Samuel L. Jackson are my favorite of his movie scenes so far.

Thinking back over his work so far, it strikes me that The Rock has good chemistry with just about everyone he shares the screen with, and I’m guessing his years of wrestling helped hone his abilities to work with others. Here’s a couple of other suggestions of people for him to make movies with:

  • Sandra Bullock – America’s current reigning Sweetheart and The Rock, it’s a no-brainer, folks. He’s her bodyguard and maybe they fall in love or something, I don’t know. Meags suggested “Mr. Congeniality,” and I’m okay with that, too.
  • Bruce Willis – Two wisecracking hitmen
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger – The Rock plays his estranged son who has to team up with his dad to take down the paramilitary group who wants Arnold wiped out
  • Ryan Reynolds – Competing car salesmen whose tactics keep escalating
  • The Expendables – Come on, Sly!  Put him on the team already!  While you’re at it, please also add Michelle Yeoh, Cynthia Rothrock, Gina Carano, and Jackie Chan.
  • Marvel/DC – There’s gotta be a superhero he could play. The rumor is Lobo, but how about Darkseid or the adventure-craving version of Aquaman seen in Batman: The Brave and the Bold?
  • Rene Russo, Lucy Liu, and Lucy Lawless – A tougher, smarter Charlie’s Angels-type thing
  • Bruce Campbell – Come on, you know this would be awesome
  • Honestly, I could do this all day. The Rock is kind of like Batman: he should be in all the movies.

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