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I guess I just like liking things

q-bertRight off the bat you should know I’m not responsible for the list. We’ve talked about this: there’s no way I’d ever be able to make a list like this. I am certainly happy, however, to respond to lists other people make. This one is from Business Insider, which seems like a weird place to read a Top 50 Videogames list.

I’ll bold the ones I’ve played and I already want to gripe because Q*bert’s not on the list. There’s a definite Q*bert prejudice in most of these lists because everyone’s blind to the truth.

50. “Disney Infinity” – I have been strongly considering this one, mostly because the figures you can buy look super cool. Having to buy the figures is what’s keeping me from buying it, though.

49. “Star Fox 64” – I played it a little at a friend’s house, and that’s the best story I have for you about it. I do like to use “Do a barrel roll!” every so often, though. The words themselves, not the action the words suggest.

48. “Silent Hill” (franchise) – I played the first one but never finished it. Horror games aren’t really my thing.

47. “Resident Evil” (franchise) – Remember when the zombie dogs jumped through the window in the first one? Dadgum! The last one I played a lot of was Code Veronica on the Dreamcast, but I never finished it. Haven’t been much interested in the series since.

46. “Wave Racer 64” – The first time I ever rented an N64 I rented this game and… some other game. This is the one we played nonstop, though. The wave physics were amazing.

45. “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!” – If I played this for more than ten minutes all together I’d be surprised.

44. “Dragon Age” – I’ve played the first two and hope to get Inquisition this week.

43. “Okami” – Never played it but always sort of wanted to. It looks beautiful.

42. “Dark Souls” – I had the chance to get this for free a couple months back and didn’t. Everything I’ve heard about it sums up with “SO VERY HARD,” and I don’t have much interest in that.

41. “SoulCalibur” (franchise) – The first two games I bought for (and with) my Dreamcast were NFL2K and Soul Calibur. I’m not very good at fighting games and the storyline for this series confuses me, but I still love it.

40. “Super Smash Bros.” (franchise) – Ugh. I don’t see the appeal of these. I even played the PlayStation version (whatever it was called) and no, thanks.

39. “Wii Sports” – I’m all about that bowling, that bowling, no anything else on the disc. Just like everyone else. Really the only game I ever spent any time on with the Wii.

38. “Destiny” – Nope, but a friend of mine has put in over 220 hours, so I’ve experienced it by proxy.

37. “Skyrim” – Love it. Some day I’ll go back and finish up the DLC, even.

36. “Super Mario Kart” (franchise) — I stink at these.

35. “Journey”

34. “LittleBigPlanet” (franchise) – Platforming and building your own levels are two of my least favorite things to do. This focuses on both.

33. “R.B.I. Baseball” – Probably played it? I don’t remember much about it, though.

32. “Madden NFL” (franchise) – I played the very first one(s) on PC and every one after that on Genesis. I loved the series until the 2K series came out and I saw how much better football games could be. I’m still bitter about the NFL rights monopoly EA has. The NFL is jerks for giving it to them and EA is a bunch of scaredy-cats for needing it in the first place.

31 “Psychonauts” – It’s my list of “I should really play this sometime” though.

30. “Mario Tennis”

29. “Uncharted” (franchise) – This made the list but Tomb Raider didn’t? You wouldn’t have this without Tomb Raider, you posers. This list sucks and I regret using it.

28. “Guitar Hero” (franchise) – It was good, but Rock Band was better.

27. “Mass Effect” – Well this isn’t nearly high enough on the list.

26. “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater” (franchise) – I liked the first two so well on the PlayStation that I bought them again on my Dreamcast. I was okay at it back then, but I sure am bad at it now.

25. “GoldenEye 64” – One of the few games I loved multiplayer on. I couldn’t tell you how many times I had a bunch of guys over and played this into the wee hours.

24. “Kingdom Hearts” – I like the idea of it but apparently not enough to try it.

23. “Red Dead Redemption” – I was surprised at how much I liked this one.

22. “Final Fantasy” (franchise) – The only one I’ve ever played all the way through is VII. I tried VIII and XIII, but didn’t like them much.

21. “Half-Life 2” – One of only two games to ever cause me motion sickness, but it was so good I played it anyway.

20. “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” – The original 2D platformer was one of the most amazing games I’d ever played back in the early 90s. I am terrible at it now, but back then I could finish it in less than 45 minutes. The new series is a fun evolution of it, but I am easily frustrated by it.

19. “Metal Gear Solid” – That first one blew me away. The following ones had fun gameplay mixed in with tedious cutscenes and I’ve never finished III and IV.

18. “Shadow of the Colossus” – I really wanted to play through this, but I could not get past the control scheme.

17. “Batman: Arkham Asylum” (series) – This series is also too low on the list.

16. “The Last of Us” – I’ve heard good things, but the God of War series is the only Playstation-only series I’ve ever played. Seems unlikely I’ll ever get to this one.

15. “Assassin’s Creed” (franchise) – The newest one (Unity) is driving me absolutely crazy, but I still love the series overall. I don’t know why I enjoy collecting things in games so much, but I really, really do.

14. “Call of Duty” (franchise) – I’ve played one or two of them, but I couldn’t tell you which ones without looking it up, and I can’t be bothered right now because meh.

13. “Contra” – One of the first games I ever played on an NES and the first time I’d ever heard of cheat codes. I miss cheat codes.

12. “Donkey Kong” (franchise) – The original and Donkey Kong, Jr. are the only two I’ve played, but they don’t really mean those, so I’m not counting it.

11. “Metroid” – Maybe I played an NES one back in the day? I honestly don’t remember.

10. “Grand Theft Auto” (franchise) – The only one I’ve played all the way through is Vice City, and that was most likely because it was set in the 80s. I’ve tried the original top-down ones and IV, but I couldn’t manage the former and couldn’t get interested in the latter.

9. “Sonic the Hedgehog” – I don’t know why I love this series that I am so, so bad at. I’m also starting to recognize that I like a lot of games I’m bad at. What does that say about me?

8. “BioShock” (franchise) – Fantastic storytelling.

7. “Portal” (franchise) – I love these so much.

6. “Halo” (franchise) – I played all the way through III, and I think that’s the only one I ever have. But I have Cortana on my Windows Phone, so that’s pretty cool.

5. “Minecraft” – I resisted for a long time, but I sure do like digging pits in it now. It borders on an obsession, really. You can build all the fancy temples you want, I’ll just be over here digging a 10x10x64 block pit forever.

4. “Pokémon” – Looks somewhat fun, and the collecting aspect certainly appeals to me, but I’m not a Nintendo guy.

3. “The Legend of Zelda” – I bet I’d like at least one game in this series, but again… not a Nintendo guy.

2. “Tetris” – I still have my original GameBoy and this cartridge somewhere, and that’s still the best version ever.

1. “Super Mario Bros.” – I’ve played most of these at least a little, but I never much cared for Mario as a character.

The more I got into this list the less I liked it. Ah, well.

That’s 34 for me. How many for you?


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