zwolanerd

Even if you didn’t watch the Super Bowl last week, by now you’ve probably heard of Left Shark:

There is very clearly a dance Left Shark should be doing, but he is not doing it, and I can’t help but wonder what happened. Did he forget? Was he a last-minute replacement so he never got the training? Was the pressure of doing the halftime show at the Super Bowl too much for him? Whatever the case, I feel for the guy. This, after all, is exactly what would happen to me if you put me in a shark outfit and pushed me on stage five feet from Katy Perry in front of millions and millions of people. Really, we are all Left Shark to some degree and in some situations.

It occurred to me that Left Shark deserved his own song, so Brian and I collaborated to bring you this. I don’t have the abilities nor facilities to record this, so you’ll have to fire up the original in a separate tab and sing along on your own:

If you see a cardboard sign at the Super Bowl that says
15 yards to the Left Shark! Left Shark yeah

I’m headed down to Phoenix Stadium
Lookin’ for the halftime show
Head for the halftime show, halftime show,
She’s got her a tiger, it’s as big as a whale
And we’re headin’ down with the Left Shark
We’ve got us a stage, it goes out to the 20
So hurry up, and bring your beach ball, honey

The Left Shark has a little weird face and
We can dance together
Left Shark baby
A Left Shark baby
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark

Sign says, woo, show us your moves
Cause dance rules with the Left Shark
Well it’s dancin’ there in the middle of the field
Just a funky old shark and it’s setting off sparks

Katy on a lion
Katy wearing flames
Katy on a star now
Katy at the Big Game

The Left Shark has a little weird face and
We can dance together
Left Shark baby
Left Shark baby
Left Shark, that’s where it’s at
Left Shark, that’s where it’s at

Waves and some beach balls, dancin’ with a palm tree
Wearin’ next to nothin’ cuz she’s Katy Perry
The whole shark shimmies
Yeah the whole shark shimmies
The whole shark shimmies when everybody’s movin’ around
And around and around and around
All the players movin’, huddled and a-groovin’ baby,
Teams linin’ up, just to get a touchdown
Quarterback calls hike and, everybody’s runnin’ baby

Funky little shark
Funky little shark

Hop on that tiger, it’s as big as a whale
And set fin status to “Flail”

We’ve got us a stage, it goes out to the 20, so come on
And bring your beach ball, honey

The Left Shark has a little weird face and
We can dance together
Left Shark baby
A Left Shark baby
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark

Run run run on the 1, baby
Speak a little louder, baby
Run run run on the 1, baby
I can’t hear you
Run run run on the 1, baby
Yell a little louder, sugar
Run run run on the 1, baby
I can’t hear you
Run run run on the 1, baby
Yell a little louder
Run run on the 1, baby, run run
On the 1, baby, run run
On the 1, run run
On the 1, baby, run run
You’re what?
Pass play
Busted!

Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark
Left Shark baby Left Shark

Tags: parody

Written by: Mark