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zwolanerd

“I guess I just like liking things”

January 20, 2014 Favorite Soundtrack

I tend to fragment my music collection based on location and use. I have all my CDs in one central location, of course, barring the occasional use in my car. I also have one central digital location where all of those albums are ripped, alongside the few digital-only songs I have purchased. Certain devices get certain collections or mixes from that main repository, depending on my usual tasks associated with that device. I’m sure there’s a more efficient way to do things, but from an organizational point of view this is the best way for me. I can think of few things more stressful than the idea of taking my whole music collection, putting it on random, and listening to that for a whole day.

Here’s a sampling of what’s on this particular computer:

  • Alternative, 5 hours
  • Children’s Rock, 4 minutes (this is a song from the Ninja Turtles live tour, and I had no idea this classification existed)
  • Comedy, 8.7 hours (pretty much just Weird Al)
  • Folk, 4.8 hours (Mumford & Sons and Brandy Carlile, mostly)
  • Gothic, 2 minutes (???)
  • Rock, 53 hours (And this is about the point where I suspect songs show up in more than one category)
  • Soundtrack, 9.4 hours
  • Unknown, 3.3 hours (Turns out this is untagged stuff (which I’m surprised I have) and random WAVs of things like Q*bert sounds and the Ghostbusters theme in MIDI)

What got me looking at this was wanting to fire up the Garden State soundtrack. Those of us who supported his Kickstarter for his new movie got a couple of emails from Zach Braff this weekend about the film’s reception at Sundance, and he mentioned that it’s been ten years since he was there with Garden State. From there it was a pretty short jump to wanting to listen to the Garden State soundtrack.

It’s been a while since I saw the movie (with a little digging I could tell you the exact date, but I don’t know that it matters), but for a decent stretch it was a movie that really resonated with me. I think part of the reason I haven’t watched it in a while is that I’m worried I won’t like it as well as I did, and sometimes I like to remember things well. But the soundtrack is so tied to the movie, more so than most movies I’ve seen. It captures the feel of the movie while also giving the movie a feel, and it’s kind of like that Mitch Hedberg thing: “My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero?”

I don’t know if I’d like the collection of songs as well without the movie behind it, and I’m not sure I’d like the movie as well with different songs. That’s in spite of the “It’ll change your life, man” scene, by the way, which felt a little too crammed down my throat, which is one of like, three scenes that aren’t my favorite in that movie.

ANYWAY.

gardenstateHere’s the list of songs on the soundtrack:

  1. “Don’t Panic” – Coldplay
  2. “Caring Is Creepy” – The Shins
  3. “In the Waiting Line” – Zero 7
  4. “New Slang” – The Shins
  5. “I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You” – Colin Hay
  6. “Blue Eyes” – Cary Brothers
  7. “Fair” – Remy Zero
  8. “One of These Things First” – Nick Drake
  9. “Lebanese Blonde” – Thievery Corporation
  10. “The Only Living Boy in New York” – Simon & Garfunkel
  11. “Such Great Heights” (The Postal Service cover) – Iron & Wine
  12. “Let Go” – Frou Frou
  13. “Winding Road” – Bonnie Somerville

I went to see Zach’s next movie The Last Kiss and went away from it liking the soundtrack way more than I liked the movie, but Garden State’s soundtrack is my favorite of the two, and maybe my favorite of all time. Wikipedia tells me that Zach Braff received a Grammy Award in 2005 for Best Compilation Soundtrack Album for a Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media for this, and I didn’t even know you could get a Grammy for that kind of thing. It’s sold 1.3 million copies, and at least three of those are from me because I bought a couple as gifts. Listening to the album as I write this makes me want to watch the movie again.

Oh, and because I couldn’t not look it up, the last time I watched Garden State was April 24, 2009.

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January 17, 2014 Oscar Nominees I Saw

For most sites that talk about movies, this time of year is their favorite. Speculation about Oscar winners and griping about things that didn’t get nominated can fill weeks and weeks worth of posts. I enjoy reading some of them here and there, but am in no way equipped to do similar things. I like a lot of things, but I have difficulty telling you why sometimes (you may have noticed?). I can look at a list of Best Picture nominees and tell you my personal ranking of the list, but you start talking about Sound Editing and Cinematography and I don’t even have a foundation of information to build on. Did Gravity sound better than The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug? To me that’s apples and oranges, because I don’t remember any dragons in Gravity. They would’ve had to be space dragons, anyway, and comparing space dragons to regular dragons is an exercise in futility, my friends.

I tend to go to the theater for “big” movies, the spectacles. I generally save dramas for home viewing, for two reasons. One, a smaller screen doesn’t diminish the experience for those, in my opinion. Two, there’s something about theaters that makes my eyes water easily which people tend to take as me crying. I can cr– er, have eye-watering problems at home and save myself the public embarrassment. But back to my point, which is that The Academy doesn’t tend to choose the kinds of movies I tend to go see in the theater. So out of the [however many] movies nominated for Oscars in all of the categories I only have seen eight of them.

Eight!

That seems terribly low. Of those eight, I saw seven in the theater. To put that in context, I saw 37 movies in the theater last year, a number that kind of blew my mind just now when I looked it up, and reminds me I need to do my movie journal wrap-up for 2013 some time soon.

ANYWAY.

The eight movies nominated for Oscars this year that I have seen are as follows (number of nominations in parentheses):

  • Gravity (10)
  • Her (5)
  • Prisoners (1)
  • Despicable Me 2 (2)
  • The Great Gatsby (2)
  • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (3)
  • Iron Man 3 (1)
  • Star Trek Into Darkness (1)

I liked all of those movies, but there is literally no way I can make any sort of predictions this year. Even if Best Picture was only between the two I’ve seen (Gravity and Her), I’d have a hard time picking.  They were both amazing in completely different ways. My best guess is that Her will win for original screenplay, but maybe the other nominees are great and I just don’t know because I haven’t seen them.  There are plenty of other nominees that I planned to see, but I see now how much of a failure I really am.

…if I’m judging movies based solely on how many Oscar nominations they got, that is, but that is something I’ve never really done. Pretty much the only times I’ve ever used “it was nominated for [x number of] Oscars!” in an argument is when someone doesn’t know if they want to see a movie or says “that movie was awful,” but even in those cases I’m not using the argument because it works on me, I’m using it because it seems to have an effect on other people.

So, hey, sorry you can’t use my list here as a help while you’re putting money on the Oscars.

 

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January 16, 2014 Q*bert’s Quazy Questions

Props to the bookmakers for the rounded top half of the book and also for the cheesecake shot of Q*bert.

Props to the bookmakers for the rounded top half of the book and also for the cheesecake shot of Q*bert.

Here and there I’ve started collecting bits and pieces of Q*bert memorabilia. Some of the things I’d really like to have are prohibitively expensive, but some things are surprisingly cheap.

You can’t tell from looking at it, but the way I’ve used the word “surprisingly” there is meant to be sarcastic.  I love Q*bert (as you know), but there’s no getting around how silly some of the stuff is. The 80s were a crazy time, kids, and it’s reflected in things like wind-up hopping Pac-Mans and boardgames based on videogames and Q*bert riddle books.

“A riddle book?” you say.  Yes.  “Q*bert’s Quazy Questions” is a book full of riddles. And since you will likely never get your hands on a copy (unless you visit me and I deem you worthy/interested enough), I have decided to list every riddle in the book for you here. I’m sure this skirts copyright law just barely, but you’ll see in just a moment that most of these riddles are older than the 1983 copyright on the book, and I won’t reproduce the artwork (by one Mr. Al Moraski) here (even though I really want to because it’s wonderful).

Remember: Sam, Slick, Coily, Ugg, and Wrongway are all characters from the game.

Enjoy!

Q: What does a vampire wear over his pajamas?
A: A bat robe.

Q: What kind of a truck did Sam call for when he dropped the brick on his foot?
A: A toe truck.

Q: What does a witch ride when she’s in a hurry?
A: A vroomstick.

Q: What’s 102 stories high, wears a black cape, and has very sharp teeth?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: What do tarantulas drink?
A: Apple spider.

Q: What’s the best present for a deaf goldfish?
A: A herring aid.

Q: What’s the last thing Q*bert does before he goes to sleep?
A: Qloses his eyes. [Yes, the Q is how it’s spelled in the book. You will see this a few more times.]

Q: To what question can Slick never answer, “yes”?
A: Are you asleep?

Q: Why did Sam take a ruler to bed?
A: To see how long he slept.

Q: What has 1,00o legs and no feet?
A: 500 pairs of pants.

Q: What are King Kong’s favorite cookies?
A: Chocolate chimps.

Q: What’s the first thing that Q*bert does when he jumps in a lake?
A: He gets wet.

Q: Where is a sneeze usually pointed?
A: Atchoo.
[This one is accompanied by a very disgusting picture that shows Q*bert sneezing, with water droplets coming from his nose/snout. Gross.]

Q: Why should you never punish a cat?
A: Because it’s already purrfect.

Q: How is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
A: The both have sandy claws.

Q: What do you get when you cross a kitten with a pickle?
A: A sour puss.

Q: Why is Slick trying to get a suntan like a small bucket?
A: They’re both a little pale.
[Slick is actually green, so I’m not sure what the “writers” were thinking here.]

Q: What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Mice pudding.

Q: Which side of a grizzly bear has the most fur?
A: The outside.

Q: How much fur can you get from a skunk?
A: As fur as possible.

Q: When is Coily not a snake?
A: When he’s a little cross.

Q: Why wouldn’t Coily use toothpaste?
A: Because his teeth weren’t loose.

Q: What kind of dot can dance?
A: A polka dot.

Q: Who’s bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?
A: Mr. Bigger’s baby. He’s a little bigger.

Q: What’s the worst season of the year for tightrope walkers?
A: The fall.

Q: What kind of qlock sounds like a bird?
A: A Q. Q. clock
[This one baffles me. Why use “qlock” in the question, but “clock” in the answer, especially if the joke hinges on the “Q. Q.” part?]

Q: What happens when a giant walks through your garden?
A: All your vegetables turn into squash.

Q: What do you call a very, very young robin?
A: An egg.

Q: What bird is always sad?
A: A blue jay.

Q: Where does a dog keep its car?
A: In a barking lot.

Q: What kind of dog can tell time?
A: A watch dog.

Q: What does Ugg say when he hears his stomach rumble?
A: “Oh, I have a stomach quake.”
[This… this isn’t even a riddle. This is just mockery of poor stupid Ugg.]

Q: If it takes ten minutes to cook one lamb chop for Ugg, how long does it take to cook two lamb chops?
A: 10 minutes.

Q: What kind of train has a head cold?
A: Achoo! Achoo! train.

Q: What are quispy and qunchy and sail the ocean blue?
A: Potato ships
[Okay, these random Qs are just too much. The joke has nothing to do with Q*bert at all, and they didn’t stick to the “Q for  C- or K-sounds” all the way through the book. I fear the editor on this one was not taking his/her job seriously.]

Q: Where did Q*bert see a man eating fish?
A: A restaurant.

Q: Why did Sam cut a hole in his umbrella?
A: So he could see when it stopped raining.

Q: How does Q*bert look at Ugg’s teeth?
A: Very carefully.
[Why is Q*bert even looking at Ugg’s teeth? Q*bert is not a dentist.]

Q: When is the worst time to build a snowman?
A: Summertime
[This is not a riddle. This isn’t even informative. I don’t know what this is.]

Q: Why did Slick go out with a pineapple?
A: He couldn’t get a date.

Q: What letter is the opposite of me?
A: U.

Q: What’s the most dangerous letter in the alphabet?
A: The killerB.

Q: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Why is this alphabet like Christmas?
A: Because there is no L in it.

Q: Besides Z what’s the only letter you can’t find on a telephone dial?
A: Q.
[Again, not a riddle. This one at least is a bit of semi-interesting trivia.  Also, “dial.” Hahaha!]

Q: What letter of the alphabet is a question?
A: Y.

Q: What do you call a carpenter who can’t find his tools?
A: A saw loser.

Q: What carries 2,000 pounds of trash, has four wheels and says quack?
A: A garbage duck.

Q: What does Q*bert say when he bumps into Sam?
A: Well, X Qs me!
[Hey, a Steve Martin joke!]

Q: What does Q*bert say when someone gives him a present?
A: Than Q.

Q: How do you make a hot dog roll?
A: Tilt your plate.
[Perhaps “hot dog roll” was a culinary dish in 1983? I don’t remember ever hearing the term.]

Q: What’s the difference between a nickel and a penny?
A: Four cents.

Q: Which month has 28 days?
A: All of them.

Q: How many mice can Q*bert put into an empty cage?
A: Only one, then the cage isn’t empty anymore.

I bought the book because it’s one of three Q*bert books available. We’ve already talked about one of them, and I do have JPEGs of the coloring book, but I’m still looking for an actual copy of it. I didn’t know what the book would be, but I assumed it would be riddles associated with Q*bert or making puns associated with the letter Q or the other characters in the game. Instead, this weirdly random selection of sorta-riddles shows up, but each page has a wonderful drawing that usually includes Q*bert or another character, but is sometimes a cat or a vampire. The subtitle of the book is “A Riddle Book to Make You Laugh” and I have no further comment about that.

Still, I was 11 years old in 1983. If I’d gotten a copy of this book back then, I would most likely have committed it to memory and quoted it all the time.

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January 15, 2014 Operation All The Zeldas 2: The Adventure of Link

zeldaII

This was the one part of the Zelda series that almost killed these articles before I started. My only real memory of this game was a weekend rental that ended in failure. Named the Adventure of Link, Zelda II is the kind of difficult that only NES games were. The game changes the formula of the original Legend of Zelda almost completely, the over-world has something more in common with RPG’s like Dragon Quest or Final Fantasy. After hitting random encounters, then you battle monsters. The action changes from overhead to side-scrolling, which is a big adjustment.

Though I did finally get around to completing this game, which I own via the Gamecube collection of the NES and the N64 installment, I ended up using an emulator and an array of Game Genie codes that made failure pretty difficult. This was after another attempt at an honest playthrough, one that ended in a lot of words that the editor prefer not appear on his blog. So while I have experience this game, I never really played it.

The game doesn’t take long to explain to you that you are not playing the same Zelda game. You’re presented with Link standing on a side-scrolling screen in front of a sleeping princess. If you read the manual, this is Zelda, but not the same Zelda from the last game. (I guess that they hadn’t worked out that whole Joseph Campbell hero of a generation theory yet.) To awaken the princess and prevent the resurrection of Gannon, you’ll need to put six crystals back in the palaces of Hyrule.

The game establishes some of the game’s lasting mythology. You have Dark Link, which has been a reoccurring enemy in the series. The names of the towns in this game became the names of the NPCs in Link’s hometown in Ocarina of Time. Also rather than a collection of elderly cave dweller, Link’s Adventure has a rich tapestry of NPCs that send you on their own sub-quests. It is obvious that the influence that RPGs had on the second Zelda game, enriched the series.

That said, the game’s adoption of XP and magic over gadgets were a big mis-step. As were the Overworld to Side-Scrolling mechanics. That side-scrolling mechanic is what makes the game so difficult. Link has a comically short sword, and your block is based on how you position his body. In theory this makes combat strategic, but in practice even the early dungeons are excruciatingly slow going. There’s a lot of trial and error here, something that I am not sure will really translate easily into the modern era. It’s an interesting take on the world. Though one best viewed through the lens of game genie codes. The game displays remarkable ambition, but seems limited by the technology of the time. Even Miyamoto sees the game as a bit of a mistep.

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January 14, 2014 Tuesday Six: James Bonds

Brazenly Lazenby

Brazenly Lazenby

Last week we had a lot of snow and severe-enough cold that most of the city closed down. All in all, I didn’t leave the house for four days, and let me tell you: it was great.  It could’ve gone awhole different route, of course – I know many were without power for long stretches and I can’t even imagine. So when I say “it was great,” understand that to mean that it ended up being great because I got to stay home from work and watch movies.

In August of last year I started watching the James Bond movies in order. There were many I hadn’t seen and Netflix had them on streaming, so it seemed a good time to go through them. Netflix, however, decided to stop streaming them before I got even halfway through the series, so I took a few months’ break before getting the Blu-Ray set from a friend. My wife recently discovered Downton Abbey, so while she watched it on the upstairs TV via Amazon Prime, I watched James Bond movies on the basement TV.

I think the “idea” of Bond is better than many of the “actualities” of Bond. Some of these movies… sheesh. And the thing is, I don’t know that I could give you specific names, as they sort of blend together when you watch a bunch of them in a row. They tend to separate out into “The Ones With [SPECIFIC ACTOR],” which is how Friends episodes were named and now I want James Bond to show up in random sitcoms occasionally. So please forgive my lack of specificity, but here’s how the Bonds rank for me. It’s hard to separate the actor from the stories, so I know that certain Bonds suffer from poor scripts just as certain other Bonds benefit from better ones. So the ranking isn’t just “Bond,” it’s more of a “Bond+stories.”

And, no, I won’t be including David Niven and Barry Nelson. They weren’t official and I haven’t seen those movies. Also, I haven’t seen “Never Say Never Again,” but it’s not technically official, and I don’t think it would change the outcome anyway.

6. Roger Moore – I don’t know if I enjoyed any of the Moore movies, to be honest. At one point he was wearing clown makeup at a circus and I was pretty much all, “yep, that’s about right.” There were moments of him as the character I liked, but the actual movies bring him down here.

5. Timothy Dalton – It’s at this point that I should say I like the Bond movies as a whole. So just because Timothy Dalton is my fifth favorite doesn’t make him awful or anything.  I thought he was fine, really!

4. George Lazenby – I was surprised by how much I enjoyed his one movie, as all I’d ever heard was “Ugh!” about him.  I’m sure that anyone being compared to Sean Connery is going to have that problem, especially since Connery came back and did another one after Lazenby. Honestly, I thought On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was pretty good by early Bond standards.

3. Pierce Brosnan – Brosnan was a great choice for Bond. Each actor portrays a different facet of the character, and Brosnan really nails the suave and slick side, I think. Yes, the invisible car and the kite-surfing a tsunami were ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than a guy with metal teeth who bites through wires. Plus, Michelle Yeoh in Tomorrow Never Dies is my favorite “Bond Girl” in the whole series, most likely because she’s not the typical Bond Girl. And because Michelle Yeoh is awesome.

2. Sean Connery – You might have been mad before, but this is where you get really mad. He’s great, really! The second spot is not a slam of any sort! For me the movies make the difference here, as I don’t think the earliest ones hold up as well. There’s weird pacing and other strange choices that just don’t work well for me. Had I seen them when they were originally released I’d probably feel differently about them.

1. Daniel Craig – The thing about casting a new Bond is that you have all the other Bonds before him. Sure, I mean that in the comparison sense, but it’s my opinion that you can’t get to Daniel Craig as Bond without going through the other ones. If he’d showed up after Moore and before Dalton, it wouldn’t have worked as well. There’s an established context, and it negates the idea of a standalone Bond.  Movie styles change, techniques change, storytelling changes – but for now, all of these together with Daniel Craig as Bond make him my favorite by far. I am very interested to see what another 20 years does to the series and what it does to my list. You throw Idris Elba in there and that shakes things up a bunch, I’ll wager.

 

 

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