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zwolanerd

I guess I just like liking things

We’ve talked previously about tasks/rewards in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. The more I look into it, the more it seems that’s par for the “tapping on stuff games” course: the less time it takes, the more you can do it, the more you’ll be rewarded for it. The goal is to keep your eyes on the game, and I think the more ultimate goal is that the more your eyes are on the game, the more you want the coolest stuff, and the more likely it is you’ll spend actual dollars to get it. If you just put your characters on 24-hour tasks all the time, it’ll take you a lot longer to level up.

I took my accountant friend’s formulas and plugged in the numbers for The Sims Freeplay and it turns out I’ve been doing everything all wrong, but I’m still unlikely to change. To earn money in TSF, there are a few options:

  • Grow something
  • Bake something
  • Get a job
  • Engage in a hobby

Sidenote: If you’re playing and you want the best job, take the Athlete one. The last level of it is only an hour and it pays better than any other job. Hobbies, baking, and gardening, well… that’s where it gets complicated.

When I’m able, I’ve been having my Sims plant watermelons. It’s an hour-long task that costs 22 Simoleans to plant, but pays 160 and 120 XP.  And my Sims have planted a lot of watermelons. Like, thousands. There are 17 different crops you can choose, ranging in time from 30 seconds to 24 hours. The best possible crop, of course, is the 30-second bell pepper choice, but it’s only the best if you’re going to harvest and replant every 30 seconds, which nobody is going to do. On top of that, there are four options that run the risk of not rewarding you at all, but instead bring out a Sim-eating plant that you then have to subdue. You do earn 63 Simoleans from subduing it, but no XP and you lose all the time invested.

There's no singing here - this ain't Audrey II

There’s no singing here – this ain’t Audrey II

Watermelons have no risk, a decent reward, and the hour-long task means you won’t miss a Sim’s chance to go to work. Unlike Tapped Out, Sims can only go to their jobs when they’re scheduled to. If their job starts at 9:00, they can leave any time between 8:00 and 10:00, but that’s it. Plus. the hour-long tasks in Tapped Out are the best ones, reward-wise.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that Watermelons are only the 7th-best option, both money- and XP-wise. It’s not that big a deal, I know, it’s just surprising. However, the crops above watermelon all have time or risk factors, and my spreadsheet doesn’t know how to account for those things. I talked to my accountant friend about it and he did say there’d be a way to take those things into consideration, but I don’t have enough info, like how often you’re likely to get a Sim-eating plant. I know that the game creators must have extensive spreadsheets for balancing games (can you even imagine the spreadsheets for StarCraft?), but I’m not smart enough to reverse-engineer them.

More and more I find myself fascinated by the theories and rules that form the foundations for games, particularly these free-to-play tapathons. Maybe some day I’ll design one of my own, even though I have no idea who would make it. There’s gotta be a market for a Q*bert RPG-tapathon game though, right? And, yes, I am amused by The Sims making the “farming” play mechanic (that of grinding certain tasks in order to level up) an actual farming thing. Very funny, EA.

 

Oh, and in case you don’t get today’s title, you might want to watch this. There’s allusions to naughty words, but not the actual one.

 

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UPDATE: There won’t be a post today (May 2) so that this giveaway will stay at the top. No Wonderfalls recap tonight, either, as Meags is on vacation. Tell your friends about the giveaway and come back and see us tomorrow!

To celebrate six months of being around, I thought I’d do a little celebratory giveaway. Now, I’m not made out of money, so I’m kind of limited on what I can give away here, so you’ll have to bear with me about the fact that you’re not getting a full Batman suit or a new TV or anything. Sorry!  Maybe if I put ads on the site or something… I’ll keep that in mind for the year anniversary.

So what am I giving away? Movies I have extras of! Wooooooo!  These are movies I’ve either upgraded to Blu-Ray or got doubles of when I got married three years ago. I list them for you here in the order in which I think you’d enjoy them:

  • 13 Going on 30 – Okay, fine, I’ll admit it: this is one I got a double of when I got married, meaning that, yes, I owned my own copy. I swear it’s because of the Thriller dance sequence!
  • The Wedding Singer – My favorite Adam Sandler movie. Weirdly, I have two DVDs and a Blu-Ray of this one.
  • The Frighteners – Still sealed! I recently bought the Blu-Ray because I figured why not upgrade, and it also purported to have movie cash for me to go see Oblivion, but I couldn’t end up using that because I don’t have a Fandango-enabled theater nearby. Jerks.
  • Serenity – I have two DVDs and a Blu-Ray of this as well. Movie studious love me.
  • UHF – Several years ago Target was selling this movie on DVD for $5 apiece. I bought several copies to give away, and I’m down to two copies left. Still waiting for this to hit Blu-Ray.
  • The Princess Bride – Still sealed! Had it on DVD, bought a special edition DVD, and then got the Blu-Ray. I may have a sickness.

In addition, the lucky winner will also get

  • One Q*bert drawing, done by me however I want, with your suggestion as a theme

So there you go.  Here are the details:

  • The winner can choose to pick anywhere from one to all six of the movies. I realize that you might already have some or all of these, and I don’t want you to have the same problem I do.
  • I’m sorry, international zwolanerdlings (Yeah, I’m field-testing that. Deal with it!), but this is only open to US and Canadian residents. You wouldn’t be able to watch the DVDs anyway :(
  • To enter, you must comment on this entry and include two pieces of information: 
    -Which movies you’d choose from that list, anywhere from one to all of them
    -Something you’d like to see covered here at zwolanerd in the future
  • The winner will be chosen by some yet-to-be-determined random method, which may or may not involve cats
  • All entries must be posted by noon (Eastern) on Friday, May 3, 2013.

This is my way of saying thanks for visiting!

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Tomorrow will be the start of the seventh month of zwolanerd’s existence. It started in November of last year, with a plea to Disney that I still hope they’ll listen to. The goal when I started was to not miss a day (M-F) posting for a month. Then another month. And now here we are six months later, and I’ve missed maybe 5 days. Nobody is more surprised than me.

Thank you for coming by and reading. No matter how little or how often you do so, I appreciate every look and I’m thankful for all of your comments and input.

I hope you’ll indulge me on this day as I list some of my favorite posts. It isn’t that I didn’t enjoy writing all the other ones, it’s just that these are the ones I enjoyed the most. And, hey, this could serve as kind of a “zwolanerd primer” if you wanted to introduce the site to someone you know/love/want to impress.

 

10. A Year at the Theater – When you think “zwolanerd,” you think “lists,” don’t you? Trying to come up with a “BEST _________ OF ALL TIME” list would be immensely frustrating, but ordering a list of things already given?  Immensely satisfying to me. Honestly, I just want to go through all of my collections of anything and put them in order.

9.  How I Think Pokémon Works – I want to do more “How I Think ______ Works” posts, but it’s hard to come up with topics for this!

8. Why? – Responding to how a game or movie makes me think about the process of creating or playing a game or movie is one of my favorite things. Back when I used to write game reviews, I never felt up to the task because I wanted to talk more about what the game made me think about than the actual game. Any window I get into the hows and whys of game theory is fascinating to me.

7. tGIF –  That’s just the first one in series, but it includes that Batman/Snake GIF, so it is my favorite. These have been some of the most popular posts on the site, which should make me sad because I didn’t create them, but it doesn’t because I like to share joy.

6. Draw Something/Draw Something Pro – More in the “looking into game theory” series. There’s a Draw Something 2 out now, but I don’t have much time into it. I’m guessing there will be a follow-up to these two posts some time in the future.

5. I Apparently Hate Ghosts – This mixes my love of Ghostbusters, Pac-Man, and The Sims, but the real fun for me was Pac-Man as First Blood.

4. Scrabble – You will never, ever, ever convince me that people should be looking up words during games.

3. It’s-a Me, Mario! – This realization of a year-long dream isn’t just one of my favorite things on the site, it’s on the list of favorite things I’ve ever done. I know that might seem ridiculous, what with it being just a silly cartoon that appeals to maybe .001% of the population, but I am really, really happy with this. (Thanks again, Brandon!)

2. The End of Bones – I had way more fun writing/imagining this than I ever would have guessed. Fun fact: for several days a GIS for “Bones” had the picture on this page in the second row of results.

1. Zen and the Art of Angry Birds – Thus far this is the pinnacle of my “how games affect me” articles. This, too, festered in my brain for many, many months, and I was glad to finally put (digital) pen to (digital) page.

I will also say that I’ve been enjoying writing about Better Off Ted, even though they’ve been some of the lowest-hit articles here. Despite that, the discipline of writing through a series has been good for me (even though I’ve missed a couple of deadlines!), and the process has helped me towards figuring out how exactly I want to approach projects like that.

I still don’t really feel like I have a handle on how exactly to go forward on this site, but each entry I write and each terrifying “I’ve got nothing and I should close the whole thing down” moment helps shape the next such moment.

Thanks again for reading!

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“How did I get here? Because I like a girl…” – Ted

After Ted’s flouting of the rules last week, you wouldn’t think he’d be so quick to break more of Veridian’s rules this week, but the above quote sums up his reasoning pretty well. In other settings, Ted might be fighting dragons or arm wrestling goons to show Linda he likes her, but since we’re in Veridian’s world, moving some money around for a secret project that will make her happy will have to suffice.

I tend to get bored/irritated with “will they or won’t they?” plots in most shows, but 12 shows in to this one and I’m still okay with it. I think it’s because it gets handled differently than most. Rather than a bunch of flirting but no one actually stating what they want, Ted and Linda have both said they’re interested, but Ted has a valid reason for not pursuing it. I would say, though, that Ted should explain to Linda exactly what his fear is. It’s not like Linda is unaware of her desire to run off some times – she flat-out told him. Telling her would be the first step on them being able to work through it and on towards something that, really, would probably be a pretty good relationship for both of them. As it is, they both still know they’re interested, only Linda only knows that Ted has said “no” while still flirting with her. Honestly, she handles that better than a person probably would in real life. That would be frustrating!

Ted’s Jabberwocky cover-up story is the real highlight of this episode. Veridian always serves as the ever-present nemesis to various degrees, and the show gets good mileage out of skewering jobs where cubicle-dwelling is the standard. I rarely watch an episode without connecting it to Dilbert in some way, as they both have similar things to say about that environment. This episode, though, is a more pointed attack on the buzzword mentality that seems to be prevalent in large corporations like Veridian. (Side note: are large corporations really like this, or do we just think they are because we’ve seen it parodied so often?) There are two great aspects of this particular subplot: the presentation that says absolutely nothing but still gets everybody fired up, and everyone’s pretending to know what Jabberwocky is so they don’t appear out of the loop. Veronica, as usual, is the best part of both of these parts. In the presentation, she’s the more enthusiastic dancer (foreshadowing for next week’s magic assistant episode?), and in the other, she really is the main propagator of the Jabberwocky myth. Placed between Ted (the originator) and Chet (the next level up boss), Veronica still seems like she knows what she’s doing, even when she clearly doesn’t because there isn’t really anything to know. But even when Veronica knows there’s nothing to know, she still solves the problem confidently, and in the process, really seems to enjoy herself.

I think we can all agree that the two best things to come out of Linda’s “Greening the rooftop” project are the fire-squirrel and Linda’s getting Ted to drink formerly-urine liquids. It is nice to see Linda excited over something, as she spends many of her episodes beaten down by circumstances that are usually Veridian’s doing. In the end, the project helped her see how much Ted cared for her, which, again, I feel would be terribly frustrating for a real person.

Phil and Lem once again have to deal with disappointing Ted, but, once again, go on to greater success because they were driven by that desire to please him. I mean, sure, an unbreakable plate is cool, but bioluminescence is way cooler, right? I can’t be the only one who thinks that.

Bits and Pieces:

  • Phil shooting the gun sideways and then talking “gangsta,” followed by Lem saying “When you talk like that it just makes you whiter.”
  • Veridian stopped their logging operations… but only because they ran out of trees.
  • “Are you working toward all of your dreams, Ted? Then stop pointing fingers.” – Veronica
  • “If only bad things are confidential, then every time the labeled something as ‘confidential’ people would know it was bad.” – Ted
  • Of course Veronica notices the missing money two seconds after it has gone missing.
  • Jabberwocky Floor Cleaning is what inspires Ted’s name for the Not-Really-A-Project. You’d think people would have noticed the connection, as “Jabberwocky” doesn’t show up much in normal day-to-day.
  • “You obviously know more about it than I do.” – Ted “And I always will.” – Veronica
  • “My mom’s going to be so upset. She hates when we disappoint Ted.” – Lem
  • “This lie is spreading like mayonnaise at a Baptist picnic.” – Ted
  • “I can’t hear you, I’m going through a tunnel.” – Veronica, to Rick who is two feet from her
  • “I wish I had the power to make everyone go away. Oh, wait. I do.” – Veronica
  • “You need to work on your flirting.” Ted, to Linda, as she keeps making him drink liquids made from urine
  • “When my mom hears you didn’t put us on Jabberwocky, she’s gonna change the locks.” – Lem
  • “Ted hates things that light on fire.” -Lem’s conclusion about why they can’t get Ted a candle, based on the plate-lighting incident.
  • “Fireflies: the flaming plates of the insect world.” – Lem
  • “Oh, really, Ted? Is that your strategy: let’s make this Veronica’s fault?” – Veronica
  • “Products are for people who don’t have presentations.” – Veronica
  • Jabberwocky was scheduled for 2012. I wonder if the Japanese branch ever figured it out?

Commercial:

Veridian Dynamics. The environment: everyone likes it, and so we do, too. That’s why we’re committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It’s ridiculously expensive, and spending money makes us sad. But we’re doing it because we love nature, even when it’s being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.

Ideas/Inventions mentioned in this episode:

  • Unbreakable plate
  • Teeth whitener (that would also kill all the world’s fish)
  • Plove, a plate that is also a stove
  • Bioluminescence (granted, they didn’t really invent this, they mixed firefly abilities with other things)
  • Fire-squirrel (sure, it’s an example of the bioluminescence, but I feel it should get its own entry, especially since it was driven mad by its inability to get any sleep)

Coworkers named/seen:

  • Chet!
  • Alan, who ruined firing a gun in the office for everybody
  • Kathy, the lady behind the desk where the flaming plate is set, and is also apparently the person Alan shot at
  • Brett, who talks to Rick

Next week: S01E13 – Secret and Lives

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bathotdog

You don’t have a lot of time to take a dinner break when you’re fighting crime. You have to take the opportunities when you can.

dogsmack

You wait your turn, missy!

dogdoor

Those rotten kids! At least there’s no flaming bag of poo this time.

catsqueeze

I should get a bigger transmogrifier

catpull

Come along, Pond

catnap

Assume it is a Monday and this cat’s name is Garfield

birdfeedsfriends

Bird chef is very pushy about making his friends try new recipes.
ALTERNATE BIBLICAL CAPTION: With Elijah no longer around, he took to feeding anyone he could find

catbeanbag

Venus Cattrap Beanbag claims another victim

catbounce

Suddenly: kangaroo

catcrash

Wonder Twin Powers…Activate!

catflap

I said, I do NOT want a copy of The Watchtower!

catknockspills

I’ve been evil for so long that it bores me now.

catmassage

One more step on the No Longer Need Humans plan

This is the most relaxing GIF you’re every going to see in your life.

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