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I guess I just like liking things

We’ve only known these characters for five episodes, but we already know how important Ted is to the whole process at Veridian Dynamics. This episode seems designed to specifically point that out, creating a situation that removes Ted and showing us how quickly everything falls apart when he’s gone.  Now, part of that might be that Linda gets put in charge, and even though Linda’s very likable, Linda shouldn’t be in charge of the particular group of assembled scientists.  In fact, one wonders why Veronica puts Linda in charge, since Veronica knows pretty much everything and rarely makes a bad decision — in fact, have we seen Veronica make a bad decision yet? One does not spring immediately to mind.  You could argue that putting Linda in charge is a bad decision, but you could also argue that Veronica knew it wouldn’t work, thereby showing Ted’s importance to the team.  Veronica goes out of her way to tell people she doesn’t care about them, but her actions speak differently.

So Ted (full name: Theodore Margeret Crisp) has been deleted from Veridian’s system and trying to get himself “re-leted” causes even more trouble, in a way only big corporations can manage.  Veridian as a company gets handled in so many different ways throughout the course of the show, but it’s Dilbertian method of handling employees is the foundation all the other things are built on. “We should freeze an employee to see if we can” is no more right or wrong to “The Company” than trying to hire someone other than Ted for Ted’s job because on paper the new guy looks great, nevermind how good Ted is with the group he’s in.  In one of the later sequences in this episode, when Veridian is rebooting, we get a glimpse at how large the company is (in fact, Veronica tells me there are only three countries left big enough to bully Veridian into doing something – not companies, countries). It’s easy to imagine that Ted’s team is one of a hundred such teams worldwide, so in the grand scheme of things, yes, maybe Ted is replaceable. To those of us watching the show, of course, he is not. It’s not called “Ted’s Fine, But We Could Use Anybody,” after all.

The show is a study in group dynamics, I think. People do best when they’re in a position best-suited for them.  It sounds like a stupid thing to even say, but in a place like Veridian it seems like it needs to be. Linda is a great member of the team…as long as she’s where she is. Her not being good at leading the team is not a statement on women leaders as a whole, it’s a statement on this one particular woman leader (please remember that Veronica is on this exact same show, and she’s an example of a woman leader who Gets Things Done, if you need a reminder that Better Off Ted is not making sweeping statements about gender here).  We’ve already seen other examples of people not being good at things when placed in a different spot: remember Phil & Lem both trying to be the boss, for ten minutes at a time? Now, granted, we don’t get to see everyone try their hand at leading, but it isn’t too hard to imagine what sort of nonsense a Bhamba- or Patricia-led team might get up to.

Veronica eventually saves the day (and Ted’s job) by forcing the Veridian system to reboot, but even her rebellious act is couched in the company’s terms. “A parachute won’t be any use at those heights,” Lem says. “From a legal standpoint it will be,” answers Veronica in a phrase that makes perfect sense to anyone who’s even slightly familiar with the company, even though she’s completely made it up. Veronica is whip-smart and shows it all the time, if anyone would happen to notice it. I sometimes get the impression she’s been put in her place of leadership largely out of fear, rather than any sort of recognition of her intelligence (though we do find out later in the series there was some major sexism taking place, too).

In the end, of course, everything works out. Linda leads by leading everyone to Ted’s house so he can tell them what to do. The heist goes awry and Veronica has to fix things when her boss tells her to hire someone else. Veronica, it seems, is the most powerful person at the company, as the underlings can’t do stuff without her, and her subversion of her superiors is what makes things work best.  The series might be better named “Better Off Veronica,” but you’d miss out on the rhyme and history behind the actual title, even though it’s becoming more and more clear to me that this show doesn’t have anything to do with John Cusack’s second-best movie.

Bits and Pieces:

  • Someone has pried a window open on the 20th floor, so Linda’s natural instinct is to throw a crash dummy out of it to freak out floors 1-19. Later, they throw perfectly good cupcakes out that window, for reasons I don’t completely understand.
  • Linda accuses Ted of loving rules so much that he’d marry rules if he could and have rule children and live in a house made of rules. “You mean live in a house made of my own children?” he responds.  This is one of many great exchanges in this episode.
  • Phil and Lem wonder if Ted likes yogurt, and you get the distinct impression that “wondering what Ted likes/does” is a common pastime for the two of them. later in the episode we see they were both right about their particular ruminations here
  • “If only Ted were here he could tell us what to do without him.” – Phil
  • “Stop it! We’re scientists, not people who can examine every variable of a phenomenon to determine an accurate understanding of a specific event. Ted’s late. We can’t know why any more than we can unlock the secrets of the universe.” – An amazing line from Bhamba. In an episode filled with great lines (like most episodes!), this one might be my favorite. Nobody calls him on it, they just kind of look at him for a beat and move on.
  • “Blah blah blah. No wonder the system deleted you.” – Veronica
  • When Linda is first put in charge of the lab, the following exchange from Bhamba and Lem is a particular highlight:
    Bhamba: “See if you can follow this: Lem is an idiot.
    Lem: “Well see if you can follow this: that hurt my feelings.”
  • Linda uses the phrase “Full-frontal nerdity,” which, if it didn’t sound so naughty, might be this site’s new tagline
  • Speaking of naughty, I mention this without comment because it’s amusing, but don’t really know what else to say about it: Ted only uses his junk for good, not evil. With great junk comes great responsibility. Let us never speak of Ted’s junk again.
  • When Ted tries to explain his middle name, Veronica says “I don’t care.” Ha!
  • “I know it’s hard to accept that giant companies don’t care about people. I know how hard it was for me when I first realized it… when I was 8.” – Another great Veronica line
  • “Ted is the shiniest employee we have!” – Linda
  • Rose, the smartest TV kid ever, figures out who Dr. Bhamba is from his “we live alone and we die alone” line. Love that.
  • “Okay, Patricia, consider me hugged.” – Ted
  • “I’m pepper because I’m spicy” – Lem, figuring out which of the salt & pepper he is during the caper planning

  • During the caper, another fantastic exchange between Lem and Bhamba:
    Lem: “Did you disable the camera?”
    Bhamba: “Did you disable your stupid question filter?”
    Lem: “I thought I did.”
  • “You’ve all disappointed me. That’s punishment enough. …I’m kidding, get in here.” – Veronica

Commercial:

Veridian Dynamics. Individuals. We believe everyone is special, irreplaceable, and will follow the thing walking in front of it. That’s why we celebrate all individuals, even ones going nowhere. Veridian Dynamics. Because you can’t spell “individual” without “Veridian” and “U” and an “L.”

Ideas/Inventions mentioned in this episode:

  • A million fish in Lake Michigan grew fur – listed as a mistake, but still a pretty interesting development, I think!
  • Some sort of experiment in which the crash dummy needs to be hit by a train
  • Personal jetpack, which Lem gets to try out and the plot even hinges on
  • The octo-chicken, one of my favorite inventions ever, even if the very thought of it weaving webs and chasing people freaks me out as much as it does Linda

Coworkers named/seen:

  • Janet S. Crotum, Human Resources – We hear her name as “Janet” in this episode, but we find out her complete name later in the series
  • Ryan, the overly talky security guy. His wife is talked about as being 400 pounds, but she’s nowhere near that big when we meet her later in the series. Retconned!
  • Patricia – We’ve seen her before, but she finally gets a name. She has a crush on Ted, as most people seem to. She also seems to gravitate quickly towards the idea that people who are missing or late are dead. “People die, Linda. Ask my dead neighbor.”
  • More Bhamba!
  • Jim from Marketing, who takes Ted’s office when Ted gets deleted
  • Chet, Veronica’s boss. We’ve seen him before, but I think this is the first he’s been named?

Next week: S01E07 – “Get Happy”

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Folks, I’ll just flat-out admit it: this was a tough week for me, idea-wise. I’m not saying that posting a cat video is admitting defeat, but it’s the closest thing.  If this compilation of cats being jerks wasn’t so great, I’d feel worse about it.

Come back next week, when zwolanerd will see its first guest post and get back on the Let’s Watch Something Together trolley.

Thanks for visiting!

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As I mentioned earlier this week, my wife and I started watching The Walking Dead two years after everyone else did. Netflix has the first two seasons available via streaming, so we’re quickly making our way through them and are already wondering how we’re going to catch up on season three in a week when we’ll be done with season two. yes, we could buy them on iTunes, but I won’t because that’s ridiculous.  We’re four episodes into season two, so the following thoughts are based on only seeing that much of the show. Maybe these get answered later on.

So we’re all aware the show is about zombies, right?  That’s not a spoiler, is what I’m saying.  Only nobody calls them zombies, they’re “walkers” or “geeks” or “the dead.” I don’t really understand how “geeks” made the list, but whatevs. In one episode we find out how people become zombiefied, but not really.  I mean, we sorta see the process, but nobody knows what’s causing the process. It’s probably not magic, but I’m not ruling that out.

I’ve never been a fan of zombie stuff, I’m more of a (non-sparkly) vampires and aliens kind of guy.  Part of that is because zombies are gross, I think, but the other part is that the whole conceit is flawed.  I refer you to 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly), but I do so with the warning that those guys use lots of naughty language. Shame on them, but they make some good points.  Regardless, as has often been pointed out, The Walking Dead is more about the people and the relationships than it is about the zombies. I’m enjoying it, but it’s more on an “it’s fine” level than a “I’m going to become Star Trek-levels of obsessed with it” one.

On to my questions:

  1. Are there walker animals? If not, why not?  Maybe it’s because the smaller animal brains can’t handle whatever process it is that’s causing the human zombies.
  2. Why do the walkers herd? (Cue the Abbott & Costello: “A herd of zombies!” “Sure, I’ve heard of zombies.” “No, no, a zombie herd.” “What do I care if a zombie heard? I didn’t say nothin’ to be ashamed of!”) I can think of no good reason for this. They’re operating on “I’M HUNGRY” levels, not “Hey, let’s hang out because we’re all zombies” levels.
  3. When the zombies are headed from one place to another, where are they going? This is closely related to the previous question, as it seems when one is headed somewhere, a whole bunch are headed somewhere. Perhaps they all read a Yelp! review of some good brains down the road. “A++ would eat again”
  4. Seriously, how did it happen? While I suspect the series will eventually get around to this one, it wouldn’t surprise me if it never does. The series is about the people surviving and getting along, so in that sense it doesn’t matter what caused it, but I still want to know.
  5. Seriously, Lori. What’s your deal? Because, come on.
  6. Dale is awesome. I realize this is not a question. Dale is a guy who seems to know a lot about a lot of things. In fact, a discussion about Dale led both my wife and I to conclude that my dad would be a great guy to have around in a zombie apocalypse for pretty much the same reasons.

If you have any of the answers to these questions, I’d love to hear them, but maybe not in the comments because some people might not want to hear them. But perhaps you have other non-spoiler-y questions you would like to ask?

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A friend (and former boss) who is a dad blogger recently posted an entry on the heart-grabbing scene in Wreck-It Ralph. He has kids that are 5, 7, and 9 years old, and feels that not only is the heart-grabbing extraneous, but it also should have warranted a higher rating for the movie.

I’m 40 years old. Not only do I not have kids, it’s been a long time since I was one, and I’m rarely put in charge of kids, so what I’m saying is I don’t think I know what ages kids can deal with certain things. For me, Wreck-It Ralph was not only a trip down Memory Lane but it was also a celebration of a big part of my life. Every character from classic games that showed up was one I either had firsthand experience with or at least knew about.  It was great to see a universe where all of these characters got to interact.

I was 20 when Mortal Kombat was first released. Many of you have no recollection of the brouhaha that game caused – parents apparently had a problem with their kids being able to rip out pixelly spines and burn someone else down to their skeleton. Seems almost quaint now, doesn’t it?  (Note: No, it does not. People probably shouldn’t be ripping out spines.) The game had a violence warning on it, but arcade operators aren’t the best babysitters.  When I got my Sega Genesis (I was 22), Mortal Kombat was the first game I bought for it, and the Blood Code was the first code I ever memorized (yes, even before the Konami Code).

When Q*bert shows up, everybody wins!

When Q*bert shows up, everybody wins!

I’ve already talked about how the Salt Vampire from Star Trek was one of the first scary-to-me things I ever saw. It freaked me out for several days. Now I look at it and wonder what my deal was.  I first saw Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark when I was 12 or 13, and I distinctly remember being flat-out scared by the spiked skeleton and Dr. Ock in the opening, and the skeletons later in the Well of the Souls. I couldn’t understand how anyone else wasn’t scared by it.  I had a friend when I was younger than 10 who was afraid of The Wizard of Oz.  The flying monkeys and the giant Head of Oz were terrifying to her. I remember thinking that was hilariously ridiculous, but I sure wasn’t remembering that when a snake was crawling the eyeholes of a skull in Raiders.

I was a sophomore in high school when I saw Nightmare on Elm Street 2, my first out-and-out horror film.  A friend of mine warned me before I saw it, saying “Be careful, because after you watch it, you’ll want to see all of them.” I thought it was a strange warning, but it turns out he was right. For a long time I was obsessed with Freddy Krueger, to the point where I bought a toy version of his knife-glove.  I look back on that time and don’t completely understand it.  Sure, Freddy was sorta funny, but what a weird thing to be obsessed with. I still have a fondness for the Nightmare movies, but I can’t explain it in any rational way.

All this to say I can sort of track my journey of fear, at least where movies and TV are concerned. I know firsthand that desensitizing happens, even if I couldn’t tell you if that’s a good or bad thing. I think being desensitized to real-life horror is a bad thing, definitely. You never want to get to the point where seeing the conditions in a war-torn country produce an overwhelming “meh” from you – human suffering should always be a horrible thing to you.  But a made-up character with make-up effects or CGI? I have a harder time answering that one. For me, the big difference is knowing how they did it. “Jason didn’t really shove an arrow through Kevin Bacon’s throat, and here’s how they actually accomplished that” is not only very interesting to me but takes away the horror of it. Being able to see that is completely different than you shoving an actual arrow through somebody’s actual throat right in front of me, though. Please don’t do that.

The best arguments I’ve heard against on-screen violence are that it puts negative images in your mind that, if focused on, could produce unwanted results — not that viewing violence will necessarily cause a person to become violent (though that certainly can happen), but that there are better things to think about. The other argument that makes sense to me is that the pretend violence can desensitize a person to actual violence. Again, there’s a difference between seeing a fake arrow shoved through Kevin Bacon’s fake throat and seeing an actual arrow shoved through an actual throat – but would seeing war-torn images on a movie screen cause a person to not be moved by images of an actual war-torn country on a newscast on that same screen? Very possibly, and I’d classify that as a Bad Thing.

This, of course, can also explain why horror movies are popular: they’re a safe danger.  While the movie might produce feelings of anxiety, fear, and nervousness, they aren’t real.  The actors aren’t in any real danger (on-set accidents aside!), and you’ll see them in an interview later on the same day. Our brains process that and make it all okay.  A kid, though, isn’t equipped for that.  I sure wouldn’t show Nightmare on Elm Street to a 9, 12, or maybe even a 14 year old. Wizard of Oz, maybe a 7-year-old?  Before reading my friend’s article, I don’t think I would have thought twice about showing Wreck-It Ralph to a kid – I didn’t even remember that there was a heart-ripping scene in it!

If I ever have kids, I guess it’ll be an interesting bunch of adjustments.  I’ve already told my wife if we ever have a daughter she will grow up to like things like Star Trek and Doctor Who. The kid won’t even have a choice in the matter.  “Medical school? Sure, if you want.  Tattoos? I don’t know. Star Trek? NO QUESTION, YOU’RE DOING IT.”

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I am in no position to offer anything new to the “women in videogames” discussion: I am a white, middle-aged male, and my viewpoint is exactly the sort of thing that gets eye-rolled over. I happen to think my opinions on the matter are more closely aligned with the “right” opinions, but most people think that about their particular opinions, so I’m probably wrong and just don’t know it.  Or I don’t know how to adequately explain my viewpoints in such a way as to explain why they’re right.

REGARDLESS.

In honor of the Tomb Raider reboot being released today, here are my favorite women in videogames, and not a single one of them are on this list because of their sexuality, except maybe Ms. Pac-Man. That isn’t to say some of these characters aren’t sexualizedly presented, it is to say that this is not a “hottest women of gaming!!!1!!” list, it is a list of my favorite female characters in games that I enjoy.

13. Yorda (Ico) – The Penny Arcade guys (warning: language I wouldn’t use) hit the nail on the head with this one, but even though it was often frustrating to get Yorda where she needed to go, the bond created between the two of you was strangely powerful and heartbreaking.

12. Ulala (Space Channel 5 series) – I have had a resin statue of Ulala and two Morolians in my office at work (right next to the stress cow and the sheriff armadillo). I kind of stink at the Space Channel games because my rhythm skills are not superior, but the look and feel of the games is all kinds of fantastic, and the idea of saving the galaxy with dance is an idea that will always seem viable.

11. Ms. Pac-Man (Ms. Pac-Man) – Again, I am not great at the Pac-Man games, but I enjoy them. Most people will tell you that Ms. Pac-Man improves on the previous game in many ways. All I know is that Ms. Pac-Man seems like someone who will not take your guff, so you should not attempt to give her any.

10. Aeris (Final Fantasy VII) – Final Fantasy was the first RPG I ever played, and the first game I ever put 100 (measurable) hours into. Like most everyone who played FF7, I leveled Aeris up and gave her all the best stuff…only to – again, like everyone else who played – have my heart broken. Stupid jerkface Sephiroth.

9. Alyx Vance (Half Life 2) – One of the most real characters in gaming history – not from a “looks like a real person” perspective, but from a “acts and reacts like a real person” one.

8. Sonya Blade (Mortal Kombat) – Kano’s the worst sort of jerk, and Sonya will stop at nothing to take him down.  Weird hellish creatures that can teleport and burn your face off? Pfft. Don’t bother me, man, I’ve got to take out the trash.

7. Catwoman (Batman Arkham City) – Ridiculous costume aside, the Catwoman sections of Arkham City were almost as good as the Batman ones. Once you get the hang of her fighting style, she can take out huge groups of thugs almost as effortlessly as Batman, if maybe a bit more flamboyantly. It’s unfortunate (and lazy) that the game designers could only think of one word for the thugs to call her the whole time she was trouncing them :/

6. Faith Connors (Mirror’s Edge) – There’s an achievement in this game for completing it without using a gun. It makes the game quite a bit more difficult, but it fits the feel of the game much better. It is a testament to the quality of the game that I insisted on finishing the game even though it is one of only two games that have ever caused me to have motion sickness (Half Life 2 being the other). Unfortunately, after all the extra work I out into playing without shooting, the achievement didn’t pop. I don’t know why, but I also know I can’t go back and replay the game.

5. Inochi (World of Warcraft) – Most of you have never heard of Inochi, as she is one of the characters I rolled on World of Warcraft. She was a Human Rogue, a departure for me from my main style of gameplay (a Night Elf Hunter). I never enjoyed the Rogue methods as much, but I still leveled her to 60 at the time when that was the cap. When I logged back in for a week a little while ago, she was still there, waiting patiently. Maybe some day, Inochi. Maybe some day.

4. Pai Chan/Chun Li (Virtua Fighter series / Street Fighter series) – Chun Li is the more famous one, but Pai Chan comes from my more-favored series. Similar to Sonya mentioned above, I like that they hold their own against any of the other fighters. I wasn’t ever much good at Chun Li, but Pai was easier to pick up than some of the other Virtua Fighters, so I defaulted to her a lot and got fairly decent at her moves.

3. GlaDOS/Chell (Portal series) – How much do we know about Chell? Not much, but without her I don’t know that we’d enjoy GlaDOS as well.

2. Shepard (Mass Effect series) – This one, like Inochi above, are a little bit of a cheat, since the player can choose which gender to use. I’d much rather listen to a woman talk than a man, so that’s how Zwordling Shepard came to be. (Yes, her first name comes from Better Off Ted, but it also references my name.) I always meant to go back and play Mass Effect with a dudeShep, but I can’t bring myself to do it. For me, Shepard is a woman, and I don’t know who that guy is they keep showing in the game clips.

1. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider series) – Over the years Lara has come to symbolize both what’s right and what’s wrong with female videogame characters. On the one hand, she’s a strong, fearless person who has taken on ancient demons and used Thor’s hammer. On the other hand, she’s … well, you’ve seen the character design, yes? The Tomb Raider series is my favorite game series of all time, mostly because the mix of adventuring and not-too-difficult puzzles is exactly the right mix for me. Frankly, I’m a little concerned that the reboot being released today will only be Tomb Raider in name. Over the years we’ve gotten to know Lara, and I’m concerned that they’ve just slapped the Tomb Raider label on some other game they had laying around. I’m hearing good things about the game and will know soon enough, I guess, but I’m still a bit worried.

 

Who’d I forget?

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