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zwolanerd

I guess I just like liking things

Over the weekend, Xbox Live Gold members who have an Xbox One were given the opportunity to play Forza 5 for free. It was a 40Gb download, but don’t look a gift game in the mouth, right? It took about 3 hours to get it downloaded and installed and I ended up playing it for somewhere between 45 and 60 minutes. That’s not a very good return on download investment, but it’s a great return on the cost of the game for the weekend.

I have always been very impressed by the Forza series. They’re beautiful games, and they do a lot of things well — or so I’m told. I have the same problem with the Forza series that I did with the Gran Turismo series on the PlayStation: I can’t drive realistic car sims at high speeds.

Perhaps a video demonstration will help:

 

That video sums up my abilities pretty well. I had another video lined up, but I messed up the download, so you’ll just have to believe I’m terrible: in that clip, I roll the car by… braking too hard? I’m not entirely clear why it rolled, honestly. I think it might be because the game figured out I’m terrible.

I earned exactly four achievements in Forza 5:

  • Welcome to Forza Motorsport (5 points): Complete the very first race.
  • Start Your Engine (5 points): Reach Driver Level 1.
  • My Kind of Car (5 points): Reach Affinity level 1 with any car manufacturer.
  • Caboose (0 points): Finish last in a Multiplayer race.

Again, I’m pretty sure it’s a really good game. The cars and environments look great and there are tons of settings to fiddle with. I’m just not the target audience for it. The time I spent with it was about right, so thanks, Microsoft, for letting me try it out.

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Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing any dogs in the whole city

Come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing any dogs in the whole city

I am this close to finishing the game Watch Dogs (Xbox One), by which, of course, I mean that I have almost all of the achievements for it. I finished the storyline two weeks ago, and have been trying to mop up the bits and pieces here and there. (EDIT: I got the last achievement about two hours after writing the above. Yay!)

The main idea of the game is hacking. You play Aiden Pearce, a master hacker wandering around Chicago trying to get to the bottom of a mystery. He can access all kinds of information using his phone to hack ctOS, the operating system that everything in Chicago is connected to. And I do mean everything – ATMs, people’s phones, electrical panels, steam pipes below the streets, everything.

As you walk along the streets, you can set your phone to automatically profile passersby. As you walk by someone, information about them pops up on screen. These are five I walked by just now:

  • Aziz, Rolando; Owns multiple pets; Occupation: Engineer – Mechanical
  • Lawrence, Adrian; Recovering meth addict; Occupation: Warehouse Worker
  • Kane, Kayla; Member of a teetotaler group; Occupation: Estate Planning Director
  • Peng, Bik; Frequents racist blogs; Occupation: Engineer – Electrical
  • Jenner, Christina; Allergic to bee stings; Occupation: Bankruptcy attorney

It also tells you how old they are and what their salary is. If the border around the information is blue, that means you can hack them for valuable things like money and info. The facts are randomly assigned, certainly, but I suspect they want you to consider if you’d really take money from the account of someone who was “recently diagnosed with leukemia.” (The answer is yes, I would. Not in real life, of course, but I don’t mind taking fake money from fake people.) There’s no penalty ever for taking people’s money, and you need it to buy guns, ammo, and cars. I know some people only take money from the “frequents racist blogs” types, but everyone in my virtual Chicago really wanted to donate to my cause.

It’s an open-world game, and there are plenty of side missions and diversions to fiddle around with in between missions. Stealing cars, delivering messages, finding burner phones, breaking up a human trafficking ring – normal Chicago stuff. In the process, depending on how you treat the general citizenry of Chicago (maiming them vs. not maiming them, that kind of thing), you become either a vigilante hero or a menace. There’s a lot to do and I’ve enjoyed 90% of the game.

Something caught me off guard, though. One set of sidequests has you hacking into homes and apartments and accessing webcameras, laptop cameras, and even a Kinect-like thing. Once you’re in, you have 20-30 seconds to find the “thing” you’re actually after, usually a bank account for some money. During that 20-30 seconds, though, you get a glimpse at the lives in the house, and I was surprised by how much some of them impacted me. Here are a couple of stories told in those 20-30 second bites (spoilers, I guess, though they don’t affect the main storyline at all):

  • A husband and wife trying to figure out what they’re going to do since the husband was just diagnosed with cancer (very Breaking Bad, this one)
  • A single mom at the end of her rope trying to deal with everything
  • A dad playing Princess Tea Party with his toddler daughter
  • A couple of different people contemplating suicide (very disturbing, these)
  • I’m spoiler-formatting this last one because it’s quite disturbing, but it’s also the one that hit me the most. Highlight the text if you want to read it (but it’s very, very sad): The camera shows a body on the floor, but the face is obscured by furniture. The hackable phone plays a message and it’s from the person’s son, talking about how they want to spend more time with him and how they’re sorry the way things have gone. He’s sorry he hasn’t talked to him in a while, but would it be okay if he came by after work to pick him up?

I was surprised by how much some of these side stories affected me. Yes, I know, just like the leukemia patients I was stealing money from earlier, these are all just stories of fake people. I don’t know, though, I guess it just reminded me that there are millions and millions of these stories in real life every day. Stories, whether they are books, movies, or games, are a fantastic way of helping us understand other people better. It’s like Carmine Falcone said in Batman Begins: “You always fear what you don’t understand.” So many of the terrible things people say and do to each other come from that fear of the “other.” If I don’t know anything about them, I don’t understand them, and if I don’t understand them, my first instinct is to fear them. I’ll let Yoda take it from here: “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Look around you, read the news – it’s all over the place. Learning someone else’s story is the first step in understanding. From there, you can work on changing.

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OracleofSeasons

After expanding Zelda’s game world into 3D with the N64 era games, going back to the classic overhead view was a bit jarring. However, we’re at the Game Boy Color era games with the first of the two Oracle games, Oracle of Seasons. Nintendo seemed to share the idea about the old view feeling constricting, as they handed off development to Capcom.

Oracle of Seasons has a fairly interesting story. Link meets up with a dancer and her troupe, Din. She is kidnapped by Onox who then sinks the temple of seasons throwing the entire world into weather related chaos. Unless you play the game linked with Oracle of Ages, Gannon doesn’t even make an appearance. The password and linked game system is the sort of diabolical marketing technique that kids whining about day one DLCs can’t even fathom. Ensuring you had to buy both, almost three, games to get the entire story.

There’s a lot of things in Oracle of Seasons that don’t line up with the rest of the series. There’s an animal companion you can choose from, that you can call on at any time. You only use them to solve a puzzle in the game early on, but each has a distinct personality. There’s also a whole parallel world, standing in for the Dark World, called Subrosia. The main world isn’t actually Hyrule either, instead it’s Holodrum. You can see that the twists opened up by Majora’s Mask allowed Capcom to experiment much more with the basic Zelda materials than even Nintendo would. Some of these experiments are more successful than others, but it does make the game stand out when compared to Nintendo’s offerings.

All that experimentation sort of leaves this in an odd spot for canon. It is mentioned that it’s in the same timeline as a Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening, but beyond that there isn’t much on where this lines up. The lack of Gannon and Zelda beyond some bonus material created for people who bought both games, also leaves this a bit in the lurch for the timeline. (There was also a third game that was planned but not released.) The cannon for the whole series is pretty loose overall, but the whole Joseph Campbell meets reincarnation framework is what fuels the narratives. That’s absent here, and what is there is only added once you’ve linked it with Oracle of Ages. So I’ll have more info on that portion after I finish the next game.

All in all if you have a 3DS, grab this on the virtual shop. It isn’t even close to the best game in the series, but there’s a lot of interesting ideas about the various series mainstays. This game took a lot of work to get into, but once you get deeper into the story it plays out much better. I’ll be back next month (really this month because of Labor Day) for the other half of this series with Oracle of Ages.

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Price: Free, item shop very much available.
Client: PC, Mac, iDevices
Get it from: www.cubiccastles.com

“What if Minecraft was really kind of cute?” is the question that is answered here. Bearing in mind I have basically not played Minecraft (I’ve spent a couple of hours in it really), it was mostly what I was thinking of while playing. The tutorial level is vaguely helpful, explaining how to grab resources and craft items, but then it gives you a hat you don’t get to keep and that’s sad.

It’s fun, but as you can see accidental realm entering is a thing – it feels very crowded with the realms right by each other, so it’s too easy to leap into the wrong one or leap into anything you weren’t expecting to leap into. Which is why I visited so many realms. It’s graphically good, though inconsistent. Not being able to swing the camera up and down as well as side to side was frustrating – I like my games to let me have a good old look at stuff.

Still, nice little time killer and with the help of friends and some dedication it would be possible to build a bunch of interesting stuff if you felt like doing that.

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penniesfromheavenThis is starting to get hilarious (to me). The farther back I go, the fewer I’ve seen. I fully anticipate a point where I’ve seen one or less of the movies released in a particular year. Some might say I should give up at this point and go back to doing newer years, but this really does crack me up and I must continue. I’ve only seen 17 movies from 1981, and I can’t in good conscience put more than 6 of them on my list.

6. Clash of the Titans – Way better than the new remake(s), and I’m including the robot owl in that assessment.

5. Pennies From Heaven – It didn’t make my Steve Martin list, and it isn’t his best, but I still like it.

4. The Evil Dead – I go back and forth on this one. If anyone other than Bruce Campbell were in it, I probably wouldn’t much care for it all. But he is, and it gets reverse spillover love from Army of Darkness, so it makes the list.

3. Superman II – The best of a bad lot, and it still has major issues (plastic enclosing emblem! forgetfulness kiss!). Eh.

2. The Great Muppet Caper – John Cleese is in this!

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark – Literally one of the best movies ever made.

Bonus list: every other movie from 1981 that I have seen. I don’t remember much about most of these:

  • An American Werewolf in London – I remember the cool transformation scene, and that’s about it.
  • Chariots of Fire – Inspiring story? Sure, I guess. That song, though.
  • Escape from New York – I’m sure it’s great, but I literally remember nothing about it.
  • For Your Eyes Only – Bond, but the Roger Moore version.
  • Friday the 13th Part 2 – All of the F13 movies might as well be one big movie, as I can’t keep them straight. Literally the only two kills I even remember are the arrow through the throat in the first one and the frozen face smash in the last one.
  • Halloween II – I saw this on TV, and Michael Myers burned someone’s face off in a hot tub in a hospital.
  • History of the World: Part I – Confession time: I don’t enjoy Mel Brooks movies as much as I feel I’m supposed to.
  • Nighthawks – Stallone in a beard! I sorta remember liking this one, but the only thing I can remember about it is that Stallone had a beard.
  • Scanners – I only remember the exploding head bit. That’s the only part anyone remembers from this one.
  • Stripes – It’s fine? I guess? Slacker Bill Murray is Best Bill Murray, after all. I dunno. The second half of the film drags it down.
  • Time Bandits – I remember it being loopy and that’s about it.

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