July 13, 2013 Ranking Off The Deep End
This is the seventh in a series of transplanted articles from my other blog. The transplants will run on Saturdays until they’re all over here. They are copied and pasted, but might get slight edits here and there.
My friend Brian went to a Weird Al concert last night, so it seemed like a good impetus to do the next album. I’ve been able to go to two Weird Al concerts and they are simply fantastic. He is 52 years old, but his energy and enthusiasm are infectiously young. Laughter, it would seem, really is a good medicine.
This is kind of a weird album for me. It has one of my favorite Al songs but overall it’s probably my least favorite of his albums. Don’t confuse “least favorite” with “don’t like” – I still enjoy it, I just don’t enjoy it as much as some of his other albums. I remember the first time I heard this album. I was on summer tour with a singing group for my college, performing in schools and churches. People from the church would house us for the night and we would leave for the next place in the morning. At one house I stayed in, the son had a cassette of this in his room and I stayed up way too late listening to the whole thing. This album was released in April of 1992, but I think it was the summer of 1993 that I heard it for the first time.
Onward to the list!
11. Taco Grande – A parody of “Rico Suave” about Mexican food. I’m not a huge fan of Mexican food, nor am I huge fan of Latin-style music. This song wasn’t really targeted to me. Note: this song features Cheech Marin rapping in Spanish, even though he only knew basic Spanish. He read the rap phonetically.
10. I Was Only Kidding – A relationship song, the basic premise being “Remember when I said you were beautiful and I would love you forever? I was only kidding!” Kind of meaner than I expect Al to be.
9. You Don’t Love Me Anymore – Another relationship song, with Al figuring out that the girl in the song doesn’t love him anymore. He figures it out because she keeps trying to kill him. The video for this song spoofs the video for “More Than Words,” but the song is an Al original.
8. The Plumbing Song – A parody of two Milli Vanilli songs, way before the lip-synching scandal broke. “Blame it on the drain” is a phrase that is handy to sing any time you have plumbing troubles, though I doubt most plumbers would get it/enjoy it.
7. Airline Amy – A sort-of relationship song, in the sense that Al’s fallen in love with a stewardess. It includes a couple of great lines like “I found a little piece of heaven / On a 747” and “You set my ever-lovin’ heart on fire.”
6. The White Stuff – A New Kids on the Block parody about Oreo cookies. To this day I can’t eat an Oreo with singing “The white stuff!” in my head. The secret to writing a catchy parody song? Base it on a catchy original.
5. I Can’t Watch This – A TV song about horrible shows. It’s funny how often Al gripes about TV, because he clearly loves it. This is a parody of MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This.”
4. Polka Your Eyes Out – Polka melody that includes The B52’s, Billy Idol, R.E.M., and ends with Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby,” and I would go so far as to say it “ends brilliantly with Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ice Ice Baby’.”
3. Trigger Happy – A Beach Boys-inspired song about gun ownership. His pronunciation of the word “pillow” in this song always stuck out to me, because he pronounces it “pellow.” Eh, fun song any way, but probably won’t be used by the NRA any time soon.
2. When I Was Your Age – A song about how everything was so much harder when he was a kid. As the song progresses, things get worse and worse, to the point where I’d probably put this one in the “dark comedy” category. Sample lyric: “Daddy’d whup us every night til a quarter after twelve / Then he’d get too tired and he’d make us whup ourselves.”
1. Smells Like Nirvana – One of Al’s most famous songs, a parody of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” When Al talked to Kurt Cobain to ask permission to do the parody, Kurt asked if it was going to be about food. “It’s going to be about how people can’t understand your lyrics,” Al replied. Kurt was quoted as saying later he knew their band had made it big when Weird Al did a parody of their song. This song, much like “(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long” makes fun of the song itself, and has kazoos, mooing, and yelling enough for any three other songs combined. A definite Al classic.
Bonus: Bite Me – At the very end of the last song (“You Don’t Love Me Anymore”), there’s a 10-minute gap of silence, followed by 7 seconds of Al screaming and making weird noises. It was inspired by Nirvana doing basically the same thing on their album, and was meant to “scare people who had forgotten the album was playing,” Al says. On the (sadly) short-live Weird Al Saturday morning TV show, this was used at the end of the episodes.
Some of the bigger news about this album is what didn’t make it. Al had been waiting for Michael Jackson’s next album to hit, and when he asked MJ if he could parody “Black or White,” MJ said no, because he didn’t want to dilute the message in that song. He did say Al could use any other song on the album, though, but Al did not. Al also had an idea to use Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die” as a basis for “Chicken Pot Pie,” and Paul McCartney was keen to have Al do a parody of one of his songs, but had to “begrudgingly refuse,” as he was a vegetarian and could not condone the eating of meat. Al understood, since he is also a vegetarian. Throughout the course of his career, Al has asked Prince for permission to parody his songs and has always been denied. Some people just have no sense of humor, I guess.
Tags: Weird Al
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July 12, 2013 U.S.S. Cruise Ship
Last week, while you were all enjoying a series of guest posts, I was aboard a cruise ship from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Whittier, Alaska. It was my first foray on a cruise ship and I had a good time. Somewhere along the line it hit me: this is the closest I’ll ever be to being on board the Enterprise.
Consider:
Self-contained floating cities
There’s a little bit of everything on a cruise ship: restaurants, theaters, lounges, bars, casinos, exercise rooms, pools – all manner of stuff within walking distance. No matter how far the actual boat goes around the world, the distance to your next cookie remains the same. The Next Generation enterprise saves a lot of space by combining many of these places in the holodeck, but the cruise ships aren’t there yet. We even visited the medical bay because my wife wasn’t feeling well. Sadly, there were no tricorders or hyposprays. If you exited the ship improperly, you would most likely die (space: asphyxiation; cruise: drowning…which is also a form of asphyxiation).
Unlimited food
Speaking of restaurants, there were seriously like ten on board, and it was all-you-can-eat-whenever-you-want-to. Granted, it wasn’t replicators providing the food (as far as I know), and I’m aware that it wasn’t actually unlimited, but for the purposes of a one-week cruise it basically was. Replicators need atoms and whatnot to make food, and cruise ship restaurants need occasional stops in ports to replenish supplies. Po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to.
Lots of staff members
Our particular cruise ship had a little over 900 staff members that live on the ship. In the original series of Star Trek, the Enterprise had 428 staff members. Granted, the functions of the ship are different, but the episode “Journey to Babel” is a pretty good parallel, with the Enterprise taking a bunch of ambassadors on board who needed constant pampering. Those of us cruising weren’t trying to solve interplanetary problems, but I heard more accents and languages gathered on the ship than I’ve ever heard before.
No kids (or anyone unimportant) on the bridge
Really, it saves the captain from having to say “Shut up, Wesley!’ so I think we can all agree this is a good policy.
There are away missions
And they could kill you. We stopped in Ketchikan, Juneau, Skagway, Whittier, and Anchorage (all in Alaska), and there were sometimes bears and moose. Bears and moose can easily kill a person, I don’t care if they were mostly behind flimsy fences. I mistakenly wore a red shirt one day, but somehow escaped with my life.
Games you could borrow
No three-dimensional chess, but they had the normal 2D version.
Being thrown back and forth at times
We weren’t under attack, we just had some higher waves to navigate some days.
Being on the cruise ship also reminded me of the line in Jurassic Park about it having “all the major problems of both a zoo and a theme park.” There wasn’t a velociraptor infestation (that I noticed, anyway), but they have all the major concerns of a hotel, a large boat, and all the little shops and places all gathered in one place. It’s kind of remarkable just how well everything worked. I was a little sad to have to come back to Earth.
Tags: Star Trek
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- Posted under TV
July 10, 2013 Guest Post: Don’t Screw Up The Ending
Today’s guest writer is Meags, who has written a bunch of stuff for zwolanerd already and is super awesome!
I recently finished the book Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, which I had high hopes for. The book had been on several best seller lists for many, many months, and I heard that the plot and the twists in the plot were excellent, fast-paced, and surprising. Without spoiling the ending for those out there that would like to read the book someday (although I don’t recommend that you do so), the ending was a major let down. And this isn’t because I demand that all the entertainment that I consume be wrapped up in nice, neat, happy endings. An ambiguous ending is sometimes okay. (The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood, comes to mind.) But if the ending is horribly disappointing, it can, and does, ruin the whole of the book or movie or TV show for the consumer.
The ending is basically the final impression left on the consumer of that entertainment. If the ending is terrible, it will influence how you feel about the entire product. Perhaps the joy is in the journey, not the destination, but the end will influence how you remember the journey!
A movie example that comes to mind is Everything Must Go, the 2010 movie starring Will Ferrell. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that the movie just … ended. There was absolutely no resolution to anything. It almost seemed like the filmmakers forgot to add the ending to the release. Perhaps this is sometimes the director’s idea of an “indie” feel, something hipster-y and unique. “Too cool to have an ending.” It’s not effective. The short story that the movie is based on also does not have much of an ending, however, there aren’t several plot lines that are introduced and left hanging.
What endings (books, movies, TV shows, video games, etc) have left you completely disappointed?
Tags: guestpost
July 9, 2013 Guest Post: Tuesday 10: Top 10 Saturday Morning Cartoons From My Childhood
Today’s guest writer is Daniel Pelfrey, who got me my start in videogame reviewing, currently writes and runs Post Post Modern Dad, and is a good friend.
I grew up in the 70s when Saturday mornings were almost sacred. This was a time before the FCC allowed the marketing departments of toy companies to run amuck. The general quality of cartoons has gone downhill ever since then, and while there are gems to be found as well as improvements in animation, I still think cartoons were better “back in the day” because they were entertainment first and foremost.
My favorite cartoon of all time, Animaniacs, doesn’t make the list for two reasons. The first is it was initially a weekday cartoon and second, it came out when I was an adult. Eventually it would air on Saturday mornings, but that’s not what this list is about. Not included in this list are live action shows such as Jason Of Star Command or Land Of The Lost. Maybe that’s for another list.
Here are my top 10 Saturday morning cartoons from when I was growing up. These are presented in no particular order.
10. Hong Kong Phooey – An inept crime fighting kung fu dog. Watching it now it seems painfully slow paced. I just remember loving it as a kid. I’d like to see a movie made.
9. Thundarr The Barbarian – This was a weird show. Sort of post-apocalyptic fantasy, and with a main character that could best be described as “inspired” by Chewbacca. With real world locations and a setting that was in the future but reached far into the past this program was a mish-mash of genres that was silly, but worked in the post Star Wars era of science fiction with plenty of imagination. It caught mine.
8. New Adventures Of Flash Gordon – The original animated series was faithful to the franchise’s origins and storylines, before the character got lumped in with several others in Defenders Of The Earth. No, this was Flash Gordon properly done. I had been familiar with the old serials and loved how this series captured that same spirit of adventure.
7. Star Trek: The Animated Series – If I remember correctly, this would be the first Star Trek series I watched. It was around this time I started watching the original series in syndication, most likely shortly after I started watching this. I loved the grand adventures in space. This series, in many ways, is perhaps one of the best examples of (Star Trek creator) Gene Roddenberry’s storytelling. While it was constrained by budget and stock animated footage, the imagination presented was light years ahead of pretty much everything else.
6. The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show – This ran in various incarnations under different titles for decades, but this is the title I remember best. It’s just a bunch of Warner Brothers cartoons. What more can I say. Highly influential on my sense of humor. It wasn’t until my adult years that I learned how censored these shorts were. Classic stuff.
5. The Herculoids/Space Ghost – I lump these two together as they were part of a package show. According to Wikipedia it was titled Space Stars and features a few other segments, but I don’t remember them. I do remember Space Ghost and The Herculoids though. More weird science fiction stuff.
4. The Super Friends – As lame as it was, this is the show that was responsible for my interest in super heroes. Wendy and Marvin were, for some reason, relatable and a far sight more enjoyable than their replacements, The Wonder Twins (who were storytelling crutches, and I could tell at a young age). As more heroes got introduced and the format changed, eventually bringing on the Legion Of Doom the show got “better” but I always will have affection for the original hour long version of the series, but all variants are alright in my book.
3. Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids – Hey, hey, hey! This was both a positive show, and funny. It ran for over 10 years under a couple of different titles, but this was the one that I remember. At times it got a little heavy-handed with the social lessons. What I find interesting was I didn’t really “see” the color of the characters’ skin until later in life.
2. Batman/Tarzan Adventure Hour – This is cheating a bit, but I don’t care. Batman originally had his own half hour show, as did Tarzan. Then, after a year or so of having their own shows combined, it would be expanded into Tarzan And The Super Seven or something like that which added in a number of other segments. Adam West and Burt Ward were the vocal stars, reprising their roles from the previous live action television show. It was still goofy fun, but less so, marking a slight shift in tone for the franchise. Then Tarzan, a pretty faithful adaptation of the books. My mother would watch this series with me. Through this series I was introduced to the older Tarzan films, then the novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs.
1. Schoolhouse Rock – Whatever paltry command of the English language I have, whatever small amount of math I understand, it is due to Schoolhouse Rock. My interest in history stems from this series of short interstitials. This is perhaps the greatest thing ever produced for Saturday morning.
Some honorable mentions:
- Mission Magic
- Speed Buggy
- Blackstar
- Emergency +4
- Josie And The Pussycats
- The Harlem Globetrotters
